Sir Isaac Newton’s Guide To Agent/Editor Stalking

When it comes to writing conferences, I’m still a newbie—I attended one conference in each of the last three years. All were great, as I networked, attended workshops, and learned about writing.

However, I also went for the potential of meeting agents/editors. At my second conference, I obtained two appointments, which, combined, accounted for 15 minutes of my weekend. I prepped, polished, paced, and then performed. Admittedly, I was nervous. Not about my pitch. Not about my clothes. Not about having my work critiqued (destroyed).

I feared breaching agent/editor conference etiquette.

I’ve heard the recommendations. You meet the agents/editors at scheduled appointments, and then you leave them alone unless they approach you. Yet, there are overzealous writers who wait outside elevators, approach agents and editors while they’re eating, and, the scariest one, chase them into a bathroom. I’m smart enough, hopefully, not to do any of these things. However, there were agents/editors I wanted to meet at the conference, if only for a minute. And the potential for my emotions to override my common sense shook my nerves.

So, I looked for ways to take a measured attitude. Being a numbers geek, I sought advice from one of history’s greatest writers, Sir Isaac Newton.

Yes, I know. Newton is known as the discoverer of gravity and for his laws of motion, but he also was a prolific writer. Extremely shy, he once published under a pen name. He soon received letters from colleagues telling him his distinctive voice still resonated in his work. (Actually, the letters said, “Ike, we know it’s you. No one else on the planet can do the math.”)

So what did I, a newbie writer, learn from Newton? One of Newton’s laws of motion is often paraphrased as “Objects in motion tend to stay in motion. Objects at rest tend to stay at rest.” Using this law, I created Newton’s guidelines for meeting (stalking) agents and editors.

(1) Agents/editors in motion should be allowed to stay in motion.

(2) Agents/editors at rest should be allowed to rest.

(3) Even though agents/editors may be the irresistible force, do not become the immovable object.

That’s it. I’ve followed these tenets at my last two conferences—but this doesn’t mean I wasn’t proactive. While getting coffee at one conference, I noticed that the woman next to me was the person I was meeting in 30 minutes. I mentioned how much I’d enjoyed her comments in a panel discussion she’d participated in the previous day. She thanked me, but left frustrated as there was no cream at the table. I tracked down a member of the hotel staff, procured a small pitcher of half-and-half, and asked one of the volunteers at the agent/editor appointment area to take it in to her. While I’d like to think my brilliant pitch and potential were the reasons she requested a partial, I’m still giving some credit to the cream.

I don’t have an agent. I don’t have a publisher. And some might say I don’t have a clue about what I’m doing. Until I do, though, I will send out my query letters, follow my guidelines, and be proactive. And, as I return to my writing desk, I will focus on Newton’s second law of thermodynamics, the one that says chaos is always increasing.

Walt Mussell is an aspiring writer, specializing in inspirational historicals with Asian settings and humorous nonfiction. He hopes the above qualifies in one of those two categories. Visit him on the Web at ”Daddy Needs Decaf” (Parenting: Tues) www.waltmussell.blogspot.com.

Amy Atwell worked in professional theater for 15 years before turning from the stage to the page to write fiction. She now gives her imagination free rein in both contemporary and historical stories that combine adventure and romance. Look for her e-book releases of Lying Eyes and Ambersley.

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